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culture. lifestyle. morals.


thanks-giving back.

11/23/2017

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GARAMASALAS EDITORS- These days, it’s easy to look around at the world and feel disheartened by what you see. With the current social and political climate, people worldwide are feeling hopeless. Among these dark, dark clouds, what better day to look for silver linings than Thanksgiving? Today is a day to stop and think about what you do have rather than what you don’t. It’s a day to look at your circumstances and be grateful for the people and things that bring joy and love into your life.

​Not everyone has all — or any — of the things many of us take for granted, like our families, friends and health. For those of you who are fortunate enough to have the extra time and/or money, the Garamasalas staff urges you to consider giving back this season and brightening the day of someone who is in a position less favorable than yours. We’ve created a list of acts of kindness that is versatile enough for everyone to choose at least one or two and help spread the love today. ​​
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  1. Smile and say hello to a stranger you pass by.
  2. Give a genuine compliment to a cashier or server.
  3. Put a surprise note in a loved one’s bag.
  4. Pay for the person behind you in a drive-thru.
  5. Write a small letter to your parents telling them how much you appreciate them.
  6. Hold the door for the people behind you.
  7. Make cards for soldiers or people in the hospital.
  8. Call someone you know who’s having a hard time and just listen to them for as long as they’d like.
  9. Tell someone face-to-face how much they mean to you.
  10. Make blankets to donate to hospitals or homeless shelters.
  11. Cook a meal or do a load of laundry for a loved one who’s going through a tough time
  12. Let the person behind you at the supermarket checkout with one or two items go ahead of you.
  13. Volunteer or donate to a food bank.
  14. Put sticky notes with positive messages on the mirrors in restrooms.
  15. Play board games with senior citizens at a nursing home (sixty percent of them will never have a visitor during their stay).
  16. Give someone who's crying in public a tissue, and offer to listen to them if they’re comfortable with it.
  17. Tell a customer service rep that you appreciate their hard work and hope they have a wonderful day.
  18. Compliment someone in front of others.
  19. Create a playlist for someone you care about.
  20. Apologize to someone with whom you don’t get along.
  21. Say yes at the store when the cashier asks if you want to donate $1 to a cause.
  22. Give a hug to someone you know and just say thank you.
  23. Call your mom.
  24. Gather some friends and pick up trash along a particularly litter-filled street in your town.
  25. Make a little extra food as you’re cooking and share it with someone who needs a fresh meal.​

​If you’re searching for food to share, look no further! Each member of the Garamasalas team has shared their favorite Thanksgiving recipe for you to enjoy.
madeline's stuffing
​This signature stuffing recipe comes from Madeline's great-grandmother and has been passed down through her family for generations. It stems from the belief that the turkey isn't the only thing that makes Thanksgiving great. 
praneeka's stuffed tandoori chicken
Every year Praneeka’s family makes traditional Thanksgiving dishes with an Indian twist. In place of the traditional turkey, try out their aloo-stuffed chicken this year! For more of her adapted recipes, check out our previous Thanksgiving post.
shail's paneer tikka masala
Non-veg recipes not your style? Try Shail’s family paneer tikka masala. One of the richest vegetarian recipes in Indian cuisine, this timeless favorite is sure to satisfy even the pickiest of palates.
ragini's ladoos
On auspicious days, it is customary in Indian culture to distribute sweets among family, friends, and strangers. Most often, the sweets being shared are bite-sized spheres made of fried gram flour called ladoos. Make a batch at home and share the love! ​

​This year, the Garamasalas staff is thankful for all of you. Every click, every view, every share means so much to us. We couldn't do this without your continued support. Thank you, and happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours. 

illustration credit: debracartwright
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and the final rose goes to....exploitation of racism for television ratings.

8/8/2017

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​MADELINE- Last night, 7.5 million people tuned into the finale of the most high-quality, dramatic, important, realistic television show in American history: The Bachelorette. The sappy confessions of love, emotional breakdowns, petty feuds, and countless sets of perfect abs have enchanted viewers since 2003, and in a lot of ways, this season was no different.
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This year, however, The Bachelorette attracted extra attention. Finally, after 12 seasons of lily-white Bachelorettes, in February it was revealed that Rachel Lindsay, a black attorney from Dallas who placed third in Season 21 of The Bachelor, would be the Bachelorette for the 13th season. Both excitement and apprehension surrounded the announcement, since The Bachelor franchise does not boast a history of handling the topic of race elegantly or treating contestants of color with respect. Despite this, some were hopeful that the season would be great, citing the diversity of the bachelors selected for Rachel and her assertion that things wouldn’t be “that different from any other season of The Bachelorette”. As the season progressed, though, it became increasingly clear that Rachel’s optimism was admirable but ill-founded. Uncomfortable moments were scattered throughout the episodes, such as Dean Unglert’s proclamation that he’s “ready to go black” and Peter Kraus’s reference to Dallas suburb-born Rachel as a “girl from the hood” in a rap he wrote during some group date fun. These small instances laced everything with a kind of uneasiness. At least, for me it did - I was always prepared to wince whenever one of the white bachelors opened his mouth.

Unfortunately, the occasional cringey comment from a white bachelor was not the worst thing Rachel and the black bachelors were forced to smile through. They also had to endure contestant Lee Garrett, an aspiring country star who generated much of the season’s drama and controversy by aggravating the black contestants, especially 35-year old wrestler Kenny King. Unprovoked, Lee tried to sabotage Kenny’s relationship with Rachel multiple times by interrupting their time together and falsely claiming that Kenny is violent. He called him “aggressive,” and when black contestant Will Gaskins attempted to explain how the word evokes a harmful stereotype about black men, Lee ranted about how he’s playing “the race card” and continued to be a jerk until he was finally eliminated from the show in the sixth episode.
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One might be tempted to argue that the show’s producers weren’t responsible for what happened, that they couldn’t possibly predict Lee would be so unapologetically racist and the black contestants would have to put up with it for weeks, but a little research and thought completely discredits this idea. Shortly after the list of contestants for this season was made public, tweets of Lee’s that expressed hatred toward Islam, called the Black Lives Matter movement a terrorist organization, and declared that the NAACP is as racist as the KKK surfaced, and there’s no way those responsible for selecting the bachelors didn’t see them. This article outlines the casting process for The Bachelor, which, I think it is safe to assume, is similar if not identical to the casting process for the The Bachelorette. The system for filtering out unworthy contestants is extensive and thorough - there are several questionnaires, examinations, and even interviews with psychologists and private investigators. There’s no way Lee’s tweets and racist views didn’t come up, but they cast him anyways. Why? It certainly wasn’t because they couldn’t find anyone better - thousands of men apply every season, at least some of which would be a far better match for Rachel than a racist who looks like a buff elf. The only possible explanation is that the producers deliberately cast Lee, thinking the inevitable racism-laden drama that would ensue would be entertaining.

Every season of The Bachelorette has to have a tool. I understand and fully support that. The petty antics that ensue as a result of throwing some inflammatory mouth-breather in the midst of serious contenders is a big part of what makes reality television so hilarious and captivating. The problem is that Lee Garrett is not just an inflammatory mouth-breather: he’s also a real-life, actual bigot who’s potentially dangerous to both Rachel and the black bachelors, and watching them be forced to deal with Lee’s racism isn’t entertaining at all. It’s gross. Using racism for ratings is gross. Turmoil on The Bachelorette should stem from the question of who loves the Bachelorette the most or who stole whose protein powder, not serious social issues that affect millions of Americans. The producers of the show should have known better.

A couple of nights ago, I was on a cruise ship with my family, researching for this post on my phone while sipping a cup of black tea (yes, I know it’s nasty, but it was 11pm and it was the only kind they had left) on the Lido Deck. My uncle passed by and asked what I was doing, so I tried to quickly summarize all the problems I saw in the The Bachelorette: the subtly racist remarks by contestants that the producers thought should be included in the show for some reason, the deliberate utilization of racism for viewership, and The Bachelor franchise’s general clumsiness when it comes to the topic of race that doesn’t seem to be getting any better. The only thing my uncle said to me in response was that people of color should just be glad that there’s a black Bachelorette now, and to complain about “little things like that” is “whiney.” Perhaps there is a very, very, very small parcel of truth in this sentiment. Big-picture wise, the casting of a Bachelorette of color is significant, especially if it’s only the beginning of the franchise’s efforts to diversify the show. At the same time, however, it’s not enough to cast protagonists of color: they must also be treated with the same respect as their white counterparts, and that’s not what occurred. The producers of The Bachelorette humiliated and belittled Rachel by turning a large portion of her season into an exploitative race-based feud that was harmless fun for no one but ignorant white viewers, which would have never happened to a white Bachelorette. Rachel, the contestants of color on her season, and any cast members of color on future seasons deserve much better than that.
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​So while the long overdue selection of a woman of color as the Bachelorette is something to celebrate, I feel that we shouldn’t be placated by it. Her casting doesn’t make up for season after season of white Bachelorettes and the disrespect she experienced during her own season. The Bachelor franchise needs to do better, and maybe, with more diverse casts and better treatment of those casts, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette could finally cease to be so white and frustrating.
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(best) F・R・I・E・N・D・S // in honor of national best friend's day!

6/8/2017

3 Comments

 
MADELINE- Long-distance friendships are far easier than they used to be. Forty years ago, if you wanted to stay in touch with someone who lived far away, you were restricted to phone calls and hand-written letters that are considered personal and cute now, but were strictly practical back then.

But with the advent of cell phones and texting, and, more recently, video chatting, Snapchat, and Facebook, you can Skype your friend in California who wants to show off her new dress, and you can see what your friend from Toronto had for breakfast on his Snapchat story. Everything is so up close and personal - we can share the most minute details of our lives with people halfway across the world. It seems that it would be easy to keep up with a friend who lives far away.

So why is it still so hard? If you graduate and stop seeing someone every day, or someone moves away, you'll probably still drift apart from them, even if you can see pictures of them on Snapchat drinking a low-fat cappuccino while they highlight their Bible in random places. It's true that technology has made long-distance friendships infinitely easier in some ways, but in others, it seems just as difficult as it was back in the olden days. How do people do it?

To answer this question, we've decided to compile a series of interviews between two pairs of long-distance friends: Shail and Praneeka, and Patrick and Ragini.

SHAIL-

Q: When did you meet?

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A: Praneeka and I met in the eighth grade thanks to the lovely Ms. Gutierrez, our Spanish 1 Pre-AP teacher.

Q: How did you meet?

A:  Well, Ms. Gutierrez often had these exercises in which she’d have people get up and recite a few words from the screen. During one of these, the girl next to me, Praneeka, butchered one of the words, and I have given her a hard time ever since. As for when I first saw her, it was the second day of class. The first day I was too focused on finding an available seat and finishing my assignments. I must say, poking her on her back and teasing her was by far one of the best memories I have of middle school. She didn’t seem to like it very much.

Q: Where do you each live?

A: I attend the University of Texas at San Antonio, and Praneeka goes to the University of Texas at Dallas. As for when we’re home, Praneeka lives in Dallas; I live in Houston.

Q: Do you have any distinct nicknames for each other?

A: Oh my gosh, yes. PRASNEAKERS.

Q: What’s your favorite memory together?

A: Surprising the hell out of her after 4 years of never seeing each other. Actually, I still remember the first time we facetimed after about 2 years of just texting. I talked about outfits. It was so spontaneous.

Q: How did it affect your friendship when you separated? Did it put a strain on your relationship?

A: To be honest, this question highlights the significance of the relationship Praneeka and I have. Meaning, distance strained our relationship so much that - at one given point - we were no more than mere acquaintances. Feelings of animosity resonated between us. She felt that I wasn’t putting enough effort into our friendship, and I felt that this was an unfair judgement as I’ve never really been one to text all too frequently. A lesson I’ve learned from this is that it’s in the most desperate, dark, shattered moments that we come to realize who we truly are. From there, we build, mold, adjust, adapt, and shine ever so brightly. So yes. At one given point, we were barely friends. But now we’ve struck our balance, and I don’t see her ever being anything less than my best friend.

Q: How do you make time to keep in touch?

A: HA. I suck at this. The thing is, I didn’t. At first, especially. Now, she’s become such an integral aspect of my life that I don’t have to “make” time for her. She’s a huge part of it. Whenever I’m overly stressed, she’s my go-to. Perhaps I have something to get off my chest; there she is. If I’m excited and don’t know who to tell - what better option than my best friend? Keeping in touch is never a burden anymore and I love that about our friendship now.

Q: You’ve been friends for a long time. Do you feel like you know everything about each other or are there still things left to discover?

A: Disregarding the fact that I’m a horrible friend and often forget the simplest of things, I will never stop discovering things about Praneeka Raman. From the way she sees the world to the hobbies she pursues, she’s a dynamic woman who simply has more depth to her than the mind can comprehend.

Q: Do you have any advice for people worried about losing touch with their friends who are moving?

A: Make. Time. For. Them. I hated it, and you probably do, too, but it’s an important part of maintaining a healthy friendship. Genuinely take care of them. Facetime them (texting sucks). Is it their birthday? Write a letter (yes, a physical one using actual pen and paper) to them. Perhaps it’s your friend-anniversary. Celebrate it! Don’t have one? Make one up! Just continue to show them the love and care they deserve. Friends truthfully keep us grounded and sane. Without them, the world would crush us. OH, side note: Snapchat doesn’t necessarily count.

Q: In one line, addressing your best friend, say something you’ve always wanted to tell them.

A: A million lines would not be enough to express what I have to say to her, so how can one? Alas, I shall try. Praneeka, imagine the weight of a thousand worlds, and you’ll have an idea as to how much influence and significance your word has on my life. Thank you.
PRANEEKA-

Q: When did you meet?

A: Shail and I met in the beginning of 8th grade and have been friends ever since.

Q: How did you meet?

A: We technically met on the first day of the infamous Señora Gutierrez’s Spanish I class. Our teacher said we could choose our seats because she was heavily against the idea of assigned seating. My friends and I conveniently grouped together in one area of the classroom, but there was one empty seat next to me. Mrs. Gutierrez began class rambling in Spanish as an attempt to wow us with “the power of language.” She was in the middle of a sentence that, at the time, was nonsensical to us when Shail loudly opened the door. Since he was late and there weren’t many open seats in the room, he quickly chose to sit at the vacant desk right next to me. Since then, what started as a series of forced interactions practicing mediocre Spanish has now become one of the best friendships of my life.

Q: Where do you each live?

A: I live in Dallas and currently study at UTD. Shail used to live in Dallas as well, but he later moved to Houston and now goes to UTSA.

Q: Do you have any distinct nicknames for each other?

A: It’s so hard to make an original nickname for this boy! Shimmy, Jimbo, Jimbotron, Jimbalaya, Jimothy, Jimmy Neutron...just to name a few. (I have many more, but he just doesn’t know about them hehe.)

Q: What’s your favorite memory together?

A: I actually have two favorite memories. First one: with the help of my other best friend Ragini, he coordinated a surprise visit to see me for the first time in four years. It was on the day of my hardest final, so I was very emotionally drained, but he made me feel better instantly. We had only kept up with each other through text and Snapchat for years, but our relationship honestly didn’t feel real until this day. Second one is kind of a continuous memory: every year we try to send long and sentimental messages/letters on each others’ birthdays. Because of school and other commitments, it’s hard for us to keep in touch, so this is the one time of year we can just put everything out there. I don’t know if I can speak for Shail, but it’s something I look forward to every year. We’ve successfully done this for five consecutive years, and hopefully we can keep the tradition going!

Q: How did it affect your friendship when you separated? Did it put a strain on your relationship?

A: When Shail and I were becoming friends in the beginning of our 8th grade year, he warned me not to get too close because he was moving to Houston in the summer. However, we naturally spent a lot of time getting to know each other and became close friends. Summer came and he had to move, which was devastating for me. We didn’t know if we would be able to see each other again and if our friendship would even last. Our fears did become a reality for a while; we never actually saw each other in person during the entirety of our high school career. We attempted to text, snap, and call whenever we got the chance, but I was still scared that we would drift apart someday due to the distance. At one point I felt like I was forcing a friendship between us because I would text him too much and I wouldn’t get any sort of reply. Communication got difficult at times, which caused misunderstandings. We momentarily drifted apart, just as I thought we would. We could have easily given up on each other right then and there, but we ended up doing the exact opposite. In order for us to regain our friendship, we had step out of our comfort zones. I had to voice out my concerns even when it was uncomfortable for me, while Shail had to open up more about his life and be willing to talk about it. It was definitely difficult at first, but now our bond has mended and is stronger than ever before. Just a year ago, I thought our broken relationship was too far gone and could not be saved. Boy, was I wrong. To this very day, Shail is the first person I go to when I’m hitting low points in my life, and he never fails to be there for me when I need him most. Distance was the hardest obstacle we had to overcome, and I can now proudly say that we did it! Distance makes the heart tear into a million pieces but grow fonder in the end...that’s how the saying goes, right?

Q: How do you make time to keep in touch?

A: Before, I used to always make too much time to talk to him that it became unhealthy for both of us. Soon enough, I realized what was the missing piece of the puzzle: I needed to take a step back. I thought, well if he wanted to talk to me, then that’s up to him. I can’t force him. It resulted in a smoother friendship in which we could grow and support each other in a more natural way. Now, keeping in touch doesn’t feel like a chore. There’s nothing better than having a friendship that’s so effortless but also so worthwhile.

Q: You’ve been friends for a long time. Do you feel like you know everything about each other or are there still things left to discover?

A: This guy has changed so much in the past five years alone. Of all of my friends, Shail is the one human I love learning new things about. He has a depth to him that many people fail to appreciate. He is an open-minded person, so his personality is adaptable and ever changing. The one thing I know for certain is that Shail will always have a positive outlook on whatever the world throws at him. I trust that he won’t let negativity set him back and instead will push through to pursue what makes him truly happy.

Q: Do you have any advice for people worried about losing touch with their friends who are moving?

A: Friendship is all about balance and reciprocation. Communicate and support each other, but remember it’s also very important to respect each other’s space. Find ways other than texting and snapchatting to keep in touch. Calling or video chatting are excellent alternatives. If possible, take the chance and meet up in person every now and then. Read the same book and have a conversation about it. Watch a movie together via Internet. Be pen pals if you like to have things on paper instead of on a computer or phone. The possibilities are endless! The process is up to you, as long as you know how to prioritize and maintain your connection.

Q: In one line, addressing your best friend, say something you’ve always wanted to tell them.

A: Jimmy, when I first met you I didn’t know you were going to be this important to me; I hope we conquer whatever lies in store for us together as a team, forever and always.
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Photos by Akshar Patel

PATRICK- 

Q: When did you meet?

A:  We met in 7th grade, but we became friends in 8th grade.

Q: How did you meet?

A: We met at a pep rally where we got into an argument about which one of us was more of a nerd. I won, and I continue to prove it to this day.

Q: Where do you each live?

A: Physically, I live in Ithaca, New York. Mentally, I live in the moment.

Q: Do you have any distinct nicknames for each other?

A: [Nickname redacted]

Q: What’s your favorite memory together?

A:I don't know if I can pinpoint a specific instance in time that was my favorite moment with Ragini because my friendship with her is a never-ending series of iconic moments, but the defining memory of our friendship  — I think — is our Algebra II class sophomore year of high school. We incessantly snapped each other bad selfies from across the room, talked about whichever nerdy show we were watching, and, most importantly, never did our homework or paid attention. That class is probably where we became as close as we are now.

Q: How did it affect your friendship when you separated? Did it put a strain on your relationship?

A: Honestly, it didn’t. Ragini left for TAMS junior year of high school, and it was difficult not having my best friend there every day. However, Ragini and I have such similar personalities and a strong foundation that it was not difficult to remain friends. Despite being physically separated, our friendship began to grow even more. Although we haven’t lived in the same place for 3 years now and don’t see each other in person for months at a time, I think we’ve become like siblings to one another.

​Q: How do you make time to keep in touch?

A: It’s not difficult to make time for something you enjoy. Ragini is the first person I go to when I need a pick me up. We send each other pictures, videos, tweets, and texts that honestly make our friendship feel like a comedy show — like Friends, but with millennials, and I have a habit of binge watching that kind of thing.

Q: You’ve been friends for a long time. Do you feel like you know everything about each other or are there still things left to discover?

A: I think we know each other's humor pretty well, but the defining characteristic of our friendship in my opinion is that we don’t try to pressure one another to behave a certain a way. For now, I don’t think we know everything about each other because our personalities aren’t done developing yet. However, I do think I know Ragini well enough to know that no matter who we are in a year or in 50, we’re still going to be there for each other.

Q: Do you have any advice for people worried about losing touch with their friends who are moving?

A: Don’t pressure yourselves to talk constantly. Give yourself and your friend room to grow, and you’ll stay in touch if your friendship is strong enough for you to be worried about losing touch.

Q: In one line, addressing your best friend, say something you’ve always wanted to tell them.

A: Ragini, I value your opinion of me above any other person’s.
RAGINI-
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Q: When did you meet?

A: Pat and I met in seventh grade at Forestwood Middle School, but we didn’t become friends until eighth grade.

Q: How did you meet?

A: This is actually one of my favorite friendship origin stories. Patrick and I sat near each other at a pep rally towards the end of seventh grade. I, an unenthusiastic middle-schooler with stuff to do, had brought my math textbook and thought I was so different and weird for doing my homework at a pep rally. I was being really obnoxious about it and Patrick overheard. He and I then got in a full blown argument about who was nerdier: him for having taken the SAT in 7th grade, or me for bringing a textbook to the pep rally. Let it be known that I truly resented this kid at this point. That was our first and last fight.
We met again in eighth grade when we were in the same science class. At first I didn’t recognize him as my archnemesis from the pep rally so we instantly became friends. By the time I realised that he was the guy I had gotten in the most ridiculous confrontation of all time with, we had become too close for me to harbor any resentment towards him.

Q: Where do you each live?

A: We both live in Flower Mound, Texas, but Patrick goes to Cornell in New York while I attend UT Dallas.

Q: Do you have any distinct nicknames for each other?

A: I have a ton of nicknames for him: Pat, Patty, Pattycake, Petrock, the list goes on and on. My friends also have a large variety of nicknames for me, but Patrick is the only one I allow to call me Ragi. We also joke that we’re twins because we were actually born on the same day, so all sibling-related nicknames are on the table.

Q: What’s your favorite memory together?

​A: Patrick and I have celebrated our birthday together since eighth grade. This past year, on our 19th, we were 1500 miles apart and unable to wish each other in person for the first time in years. I was pretty upset about missing our tradition, so to make up for it, we FaceTimed late the night before our birthday and counted down to midnight in each of our time zones. He opened my gift and we went through birthday messages together; it was a great reminder that despite the distance we could still find ways to keep our friendship strong.

Q: How did it affect your friendship when you separated? Did it put a strain on your relationship?

A: Strangely enough, Pat and I got closer around eleventh grade when I left Flower Mound High School and started to go to TAMS. We were friends before that, but we hardly ever hung out or even texted. When I left, it made me really think about who I wanted to keep in touch with. I made group chats with all my Flower Mound friends and made sure to make time for the people I wasn’t willing to leave behind. Patrick and I started talking more often because of this and now we’re closer than ever before.

Q: How do you make time to keep in touch?

A: Depending on how busy we are, we have different ways of making sure we don’t become too distant. Obviously, texting and snapchatting are a given, but we also use the website rabb.it to watch movies and binge shows together. Even if he’s busy, I send him memes on Twitter and tag him in Tumblr posts for him to see when he has free time. When Patrick’s back in town, he visits me at UTD and we hit up our favorite spot (Torchy’s Tacos) as often as possible. This summer, we’ve started going to the gym together everyday to make up for lost time.

Q: You’ve been friends for a long time. Do you feel like you know everything about each other or are there still things left to discover?

A: Anyone who knows Patrick will agree that he’s kind of a mysterious guy. Not in a traditionally secretive, distant, aloof sort of way - he’s far too jovial for that - but in a way that sneaks up on you. It keeps things interesting because his consistently cheerful demeanor distracts you from the fact that you don’t know little things - like his middle name or where he lives - despite having known him for five years. Although I think I know Patrick better than most people, I still always feel like there’s more backstory to unlock with him. I love that after all this time I’m still able to learn new things about my best friend.

Q: Do you have any advice for people worried about losing touch with their friends who are moving?

A: Be understanding, be flexible, and be creative. It’s important to remember that people get busy and you may not have as much time for each other as you want. Just because you don’t talk as much for a while doesn’t mean either of you care any less, and there are still ways to stay connected.

Q: In one line, addressing your best friend, say something you’ve always wanted to tell them.

A: I know you have a lot going on and it gets pretty stressful at times, but it’s inspiring how you manage to balance it all and still be the most positive person I know.
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Photos by Tanvi Khanduri
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13 reasons...why though? // in light of mental health awareness month.

5/26/2017

1 Comment

 
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MADELINE- 

“Oh man, I totally forgot about that book.”
​
This was my first thought when I heard about a month ago that Netflix had come out with a television adaptation of 13 Reasons Why. My first encounter with the book was in eighth grade, right around the time it had hit #1 on The New York Times’s best-seller list. It hardly impacted me: I read about two-thirds of it before tossing it aside because it depressed me too much, and it didn’t cross my mind again until the adaptation was released. I didn’t originally plan to watch it, but reading about the controversy surrounding it sparked my curiosity, and I decided to give the show a shot. So, the week before finals week, whenever I felt the need to procrastinate, I settled into the fort beneath my bed and watched a few episodes. I finished it in about 5 days and have an innumerable amount of complaints, a few of which I will detail below:

In the writers’ defense, it is difficult to adapt the 13 Reasons Why book into a show that properly illuminates the issues of mental illness and teen suicide, because they’re working with problematic content in the first place. Psychologists’ main criticism of 13 Reasons Why is that the whole idea of the book, the concept of labeling 13 people as the cause of your suicide, paints an unrealistic picture of why people kill themselves, and I definitely agree with this criticism. In almost all cases, the cause of a suicide is far, far more complicated than just 13 reasons. For one thing, mental illness, especially major depressive disorder, is involved in over 90% of cases, but Hannah Baker doesn’t seem to struggle with a mental illness. Though she feels the devastating psychological effects of the intimidation, humiliation, and death she witnesses or experiences, there’s no evidence that she had a mental illness before the awful things began to happen to her. She seems pretty neurotypical to me, making her suicide unrepresentative of the suicides that occur in real life. Additionally, all of the other characters, perhaps with the exception of Skye, the emo waitress at Monet’s, seem neurotypical as well, and so it’s baffling why this show is considered a conversation-starter about mental illness.

Even though the show fails to present characters who have a mental illness, it still could have been a show that gives a nod to Mental Health Awareness Month by shedding light on a more general issue that affects even neurotypical people. Specifically, it could have brought up the realities of the aftermath of traumatic events for high-schoolers, how many teenagers experience a sharp decrease in their overall mental well-being due to a traumatic event that is often brushed off by adults as moodiness or strangeness normal in teenagers. Unfortunately, 13 Reasons Why massively fails in this department as well, especially concerning Hannah. The show’s presentation of Hannah’s story reminded me of those “before” and “after” pictures in weight loss commercials. We only see the “before,” the events and people that Hannah pinpoints as the causes of her suicide, and the “after,” the actual suicide (which is another complaint that I have, but we’ll get to that later). We see very little of what’s in between: her inner turmoil, how those “13 Reasons” began to affect her everyday life, and how those effects became so overwhelming that she couldn’t take it anymore. The show mentions that her grades drop significantly, and there are few scenes of her crying, but other than that, we see none of the ugly realities of the psychological aftermath of traumatic events that could make a solid contribution to the ongoing conversation about overall mental health.

And the worst part is, there were some promising moments that made me think 13 Reasons Why could have been a great show about mental health. My favorite one was Clay’s answer to his mom’s question about why he didn’t shower that morning like he usually does:

“Look, I just... I turned the water on just now, and I thought about it all, the whole thing…taking clothes off, dealing with hair. And I just… I couldn’t do it. We shower, like, every day, and it’s just... a lot.”

Hannah’s tapes are clearly affecting Clay to such a degree that he’s even getting overwhelmed by simple everyday tasks, and I can’t even describe how relatable this is to me. During my senior year of high school, when my anxiety and insomnia were getting really bad, I went through periods where I struggled to do basic things such as getting dressed and brushing my teeth. At one point, I didn’t brush my teeth for three days, and when my therapist asked me why, I said something nearly identical to what Clay said. Feeling like everyday tasks are just too much is something that so many people struggle with at some point in their lives, whether they’re dealing with a mental illness or the aftermath of a traumatic event, and this scene is wonderful at bringing that to light. This is exactly the kind of stuff that is great for Mental Health Awareness Month. So why isn’t there more of it? Why don’t we ever see Hannah struggling to eat, go to class, shower, and brush her teeth? Why are the only signs of her mental struggle a quick mention that her grades aren’t as high as they used to be and some eloquent, abstract poem she wrote about how she feels? 13 Reasons Why could have explored in further detail the uglier, more personal realities of traumatic events’ effects on teenagers, but it didn’t, and so the story just felt frustratingly distant and impersonal.

This isn’t even the worst thing about the show. For me, the most disturbing part is the fact that Hannah’s suicide is so graphically depicted. Though I’m not particularly sensitive to content about suicide, that scene was far too much for me. I had to skip it, and I’m sure many others had to as well. But I’m not angry that I had to drag that red circle an inch to the right. I’m angry that 13 Reasons Why contains material that’s potentially triggering or unsafe for people struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts. If even I and other people who aren’t sensitive to material about suicide can’t get through the scene, just imagine the effects it could have on someone thinking about suicide. That scene is so graphic that it could essentially serve as an instruction manual for how to kill yourself, if you wanted it to be. What kind of a show, a show that’s supposed to illuminate the issue of suicide, is not even safe for suicidal people to watch? It’s completely unnecessary to portray Hannah’s suicide so explicitly; that part of the story could have been communicated just as effectively with a far more discrete scene. All the scene does is sensationalize suicide and make the show dangerous for the very people it’s supposed to help. The staff of 13 Reasons Why should be ashamed of themselves.

This is honestly just the tip of the iceberg. There are many other problems with 13 Reasons Why and the way it depicts mental illness and suicide: it fulfills the suicide fantasy known as the “revenge fantasy,” it unfairly places all the blame of Hannah’s suicide on the people talked about in the tapes, even though Hannah is ultimately the one who kills herself, and it fails to properly present alternatives to suicide like psychiatric treatment and therapy. There are many articles expanding on these issues that I encourage you to look at, especially if you have watched the show or are intending to. Most importantly, however, please just please be careful when watching the show. Keep in mind that it contains potentially unsafe material, and that it’s definitely not the force of mental health awareness that we need this month.

Happy Mental Health Awareness Month to everyone except the people who made 13 Reasons Why.

illustration credit: herehk
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end of the worst.

12/31/2016

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RAGINI- This time last year I had pretty high hopes for 2016. Little did I know this year would turn out to be one of the most notoriously awful years in recent history. After Brexit, a Trump presidential nomination, and the passing of several iconic celebrities, I think we're all looking for a break from the constant L's 2016 has been giving us. Before we start setting our expectations for 2017, however, let's step back and look at some of the things that made this year personally more tolerable.
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  • favorite musical artists:
    1. Panic! At The Disco
    2. Childish Gambino
    3. DΞΔN
    4. Anirudh Ravichander
    5. DNCE​
​
  • ​favorite musical albums:
    1. ​​ANTI- Rihanna
    2. EXIT: E- WINNER
    3. Death of a Bachelor- Panic! At The Disco
    4. Mind of Mine- Zayn
    5. Sremmlife 2- Rae Sremmurd​
  • favorite songs​:
  • favorite tv shows:
    1. Brooklyn 99
    2. Jane The Virgin
    3. We Bare Bears
    4. Atlanta
    5. Black Mirror
  • favorite movies:
    1. ​​Deadpool
    2. Zootopia
    3. Captain America: Civil War
    4. Moana
    5. Irudhi Suttru
  • social media used the most​​​​: snapchat
  • favorite phone game: endless lake
  • inspirational icon who rose to fame this year: Nathan Zed
  • major lifestyle change: learned how to drive
  • saddest news: Trump becoming president
  • best news: the ice bucket challenge actually funded an ALS breakthrough
  • saddest moment: leaving UNT
  • best moment: road trip to Austin
  • describe 2016 in one word: yuck
  • describe what you expect/want to achieve in 2017 in one word: ​organization
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  • favorite musical artists:​
    1. Zayn
    2. The Brobecks
    3. Nick Jonas
    4. Badshah
    5. Nicki Minaj​
​
  • favorite musical albums:​​
    1. ​​Starboy- The Weeknd
    2. ANTI- Rihanna
    3. Death of a Bachelor- Panic! At The Disco
    4. Mind of Mine- Zayn
    5. DNCE- DNCE
  • favorite songs​:
  • ​favorite tv shows:
  1. Scream
  2. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
  3. Jane The Virgin
  4. Scream Queens
  5. Black Mirror
  • ​favorite movies:
  1. ​​Deadpool
  2. Ghostbusters
  3. Zootopia
  4. Kapoor & Sons
  5. Moana
  • social media used the most​​​​: snapchat
  • favorite phone game: 8-ball
  • inspirational icon who rose to fame this year: Demetrius Harmon
  • major lifestyle change: took a gap semester before college
  • saddest news: Trump becoming president
  • best news: giant pandas are no longer endangered
  • saddest moment: first car accident
  • best moment: going to India after 11 years
  • describe 2016 in one word: YIKES
  • describe what you expect/want to achieve in 2017 in one word: ​focus​
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  • favorite musical artists:
    1. Nicki Minaj
    2. Panic! At The Disco
    3. Blink-182
    4. NCT
    5. Rihanna​
​
  • favorite musical albums:
    1. Death of a Bachelor- Panic! At The Disco
    2. "Awaken, My Love!"- Childish Gambino
    3. ANTI- Rihanna
    4. MADE- BIGBANG  
    5. Lemonade- Beyoncé
  • favorite songs​:
  • favorite tv shows: (I didn't really watch anything new, but I caught up on some iconic old shows.)
    1. ​​Parks and Recreation
    2. The Office
    3. Adventure Time 
  • favorite movies:
    1. ​​​​​Moana
    2. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
    3. Zootopia
    4. Finding Dory
    5. Captain America: Civil War 
  • social media used the most​​​​: Tumblr
  • favorite phone game: Neko Atsume
  • inspirational icon who rose to fame this year: Ted Cruz
  • major lifestyle change: going to a new school
  • saddest news: Trump becoming president
  • best news: the story of Dimdim, the penguin who swims 5,000 miles a year every year to visit the man who saved his life
  • saddest moment: leaving TAMS graduation and all of my TAMS friends I'll probably never see again
  • best moment: turning in my physics final
  • describe 2016 in one word: heck
  • describe what you expect/want to achieve in 2017 in one word: ​quiet
Happy new year from all of us at Garamasalas! We hope this year brings you the happiness and success you deserve!
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christian exSCREAMism.

2/6/2016

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MADELINE- Screamy Preacher Man comes to the UNT campus every Wednesday.

To a small crowd of curious students, he shouts about God’s rage towards those who are not Christians. He hurls insults at Muslims, Hindus, agnostics, and atheists. He screams that God will sentence all “unbelievers” to eternal torment.

You would think that I would not be even slightly worried or scared of Screamy Preacher Man’s shouting. I am a Christian, so I am in the clear, right? But though I try to laugh off Screamy Preacher Man’s arguments, I still feel a twinge of fear when I pass by him every week, and I imagine that many people, Christian and non-Christian alike, secretly feel this twinge, too. I think, “What if I am not Christian enough?” and am sure that deep down, a lot of non-Christians worry that he might be right.

The purpose of this post is to dispel all fear of the idea of eternal hell. The doctrine of eternal hell contradicts many essential Christian beliefs, and I will show you how.

To uncover the problems with the idea of eternal hell, we must ask ourselves this: “Does God still love the people in hell?” What we find is that no matter what we answer to this question, we run into severe issues.

Let’s first answer “yes” to our question. Let’s say, “Yes, God does love the people in hell.” Right off the bat, this answer does not seem to make much sense. How can you love someone and sentence them to infinite torture at the same time? Corinthians 13:4-8 proclaims: “Love is patient, love is kind…it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Sentencing an individual to hell is not an act of patience, kindness, protection, trust or hope. If we accept this definition of all love, the idea that God can feel this incredibly powerful, positive feeling towards someone and still sentence them to eternal punishment becomes completely ridiculous. The answer “yes” to the question “Does God love those in hell?” turns out to be absurd.

What if we answer “no”? What if we say, “No, God does not love the souls in hell?” If we are to say this, then we must give up the idea of God’s infinite love. To answer “no” is to say, “God loves you, unless you die and happen to not be Christian, at which point He will stop loving you and send you to be tormented forever.” That is not eternal, unconditional love at all. If we are to believe that God does not love the people in hell, then we must throw away the concept that God’s love for us is unending. This is a major problem, because this concept is absolutely central to Christianity. Just listen to any Christian praise song. Every line, you will hear about “God’s eternal/infinite/unending/unfailing/everlasting love.” If we answer “no” to our question, then it seems that we are giving up a very crucial aspect of Christianity.

So, if we answer “yes” to the question, “Does God love the people in hell?” we soon realize that this answer is ridiculous. If we answer “no,” we throw out one of the most important elements of Christianity. No matter what we do, we run into problems. What is the solution?

The only way to avoid the issues that arise when asking the question “Does God love those in hell?” is to not believe in eternal hell at all.

​The idea of eternal hell is too problematic to be taken seriously. It should not be a part of Christian doctrine, and anyone who preaches about eternal hell has obviously not studied Christianity long enough to encounter the issues the concept of hell raises. So do not fear, my non-Christian friends. You do not need to fear Screamy Preacher Man, though you should probably not provoke him. The best thing to do is put on your earbuds, walk past him as quickly as possible, and remember that the Christian God does not sentence people to eternal punishment.
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365/365.

12/31/2015

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PRANEEKA- Another year has come to an end. As with every other year, there have been many great days and not so great ones. Change. Success. Failure. However, December 31 is always the most hopeful. We use this day to believe that the next 365 days to come will bring forth better outcomes and habits. Although many people fail to truly achieve their resolutions, the fact that we simply have so much faith that everything will get better makes me happy. We acknowledge our flaws and believe that we can overcome them. We attempt to become better humans. With all of the devastating events going on around the world, there are still people out there who want to reach a state of optimism and personal improvement.  They believe. That truly amazes me. So, this year I want to challenge you. Instead of plainly making a resolution, think of something small that you lacked this year and find an actual method that will help you achieve it. Without some work, you won't get any pleasing results. Plus, having a small, attainable goal will actually give you a sense of accomplishment and completion. I did that this year, and it paid off. My goal was to keep a journal and consistently write in it. I put some effort, and it really benefitted me both physically and emotionally. See? Anything small and achievable. It can still go a long way.

Madeline, Ragini, and I did a small questionnaire below to show you a piece of how our year was. This year was pretty gross for all of us, but our friendship kept us going. As you can see with our favorite things, we have influenced each other in many ways. We have accomplished so much, and we're only going to look forward. It's been a ride. We only have one more semester together before we all separate ways to different colleges, but we're going to make the best of it! We will definitely be posting all of our adventures on here, don't worry. Thank you guys for supporting us. This blog has helped us build a stronger friendship. It's helped us find many new friends. Most importantly, it's helped us become better individuals. We hope that we can keep this going for a very long time. 

Here's to your triumphs. Here's to the obstacles you've faced. Here's to the many people you've met along your journey. Keep your head high and keep it going. Happy new year from your GARAMASALAS pals!

  1. favorite musical artists
  2. favorite songs
  3. favorite musical albums
  4. favorite tv shows
  5. favorite movies
  6. social media used the most
  7. favorite phone game
  8. inspirational icon who rose to fame this year
  9. major lifestyle change
  10. saddest news
  11. best news
  12. saddest moment
  13. best moment
  14. describe 2015 in one word
  15. describe what you expect/want to achieve in 2016 in one word
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1.
  • twenty one pilots
  • Nicki Minaj
  • Panic! At The Disco
  • Drake
  • Ke$ha
2.
  • Stressed Out- twenty one pilots
  • Hotline Bling- Drake
  • Fairly Local- twenty one pilots
  • BANG BANG BANG- BIGBANG
  • Centuries- Fall Out Boy
3.
  • 25- Adele
  • Blurryface- twenty one pilots
  • If You're Reading This It's Too Late- Drake
  • Purpose- Justin Bieber
  • American Beauty/American Psycho- Fall Out Boy
4.
  • Parks and Recreation
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine
  • Master of None
  • Bob's Burgers
  • Sense8
5.
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
6. Tumblr
7. Solitaire
8. Left Shark
9. Developing insomnia
10. Donald Trump running for President
11. Supreme Court declaring same-sex marriage legal
12. Tried going to Maple cafeteria one time and it was closed
13. Finishing my finals for this semester
14. dank

15. moredank
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1.
  • Panic! At The Disco
  • Epik High
  • BIGBANG
  • twenty one pilots
  • Aquilo
2.
  • Death of a Bachelor- Panic! At The Disco
  • Same Old Love- Selena Gomez
  • I NEED U- BTS
  • Wrong- Max Schneider
  • BANG BANG BANG- BIGBANG
3.
  • ​Blurryface- twenty one pilots
  • Purpose- Justin Bieber
  • Deadroses- Blackbear
  • EXODUS- EXO
  • Beauty Behind the Madness- The Weeknd
4.
  • Master of None
  • Sense8
  • Jane The Virgin
  • Parks and Recreation
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.
  • Avengers: Age of Ultron
  • Jurassic World
  • Enakkul Oruvan
  • Ant-Man
  • Indru Netru Naalai
6. Instagram
7. Spider Solitaire
8. Matt McGorry
9. Getting braces (u g h)
​10. Donald Trump running for President
11. twenty one pilots performing at a venue in my city
12. Getting anxiety attacks
13. Watching the second Avengers movie with my best friends on my birthday
14. ew
​15. redemption
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 1.
  • Nicki Minaj
  • Justin Bieber
  • Lin-Manuel Miranda
  • Panic! At The Disco
  • Fall Out Boy
2.
  • Sorry- Justin Bieber
  • Hello- Adele
  • Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time- Panic! At The Disco
  • Hotline Bling- Drake
  • Meltdown- N.A.S.A feat. DMX and Priyanka Chopra
3.
  • Hamilton OST
  • Purpose- Justin Bieber
  • Blurryface- twenty one pilots
  • American Beauty/American Psycho- Fall Out Boy
  • In The Card- Robert DeLong
4.
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  • Jane The Virgin
  • Quantico
  • Fresh Off The Boat
5.
  • Bajrangi Bhaijaan
  • Dil Dhanake Do
  • Ant-Man
  • Jurassic World
  • Inside Out
6. Snapchat
7. Neko Atsume
8. Nicki Minaj
9. Following DJ Khaled's keys to more success (🔑🔑)
​10. Donald Trump running for President
​11. Bernie Sanders running for President

12. Zayn leaving One Direction
13. Hitting 1000 notes on Tumblr portraits
14. yikes
​15. change
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versus // philosophy with mad.

12/25/2015

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MADELINE- When I was in 6th grade, I read the first of the sixteen Left Behind novels. Left Behind is the most popular Christian fictional series to date. In the first book, the event Christians refer to as “The Rapture” occurs: true believers suddenly disappear as they are taken to heaven, while everyone else stays on Earth. The rest of the series tells of the seven years of the chaos that follows, and in the last book, Christ comes to Earth and delivers judgement upon the remaining people. People at my old school raved about the series and pressured me to at least read the first book. I promised I would, and I did.The next week at lunch, my friends asked me what I thought about the book. I told them that I liked it. I lied. The plot of the story was intriguing, but there was something about Left Behind I couldn’t put my finger on that disturbed me greatly. Not wanting to disagree with my friends, however, I told them that I enjoyed the book.

My friends excitedly discussed the books until the end of lunch. I don’t remember much about this conversation, save for one snippet, when someone asked my friend Gracie what her favorite part of the series was:
“I love the very beginning, when The Rapture happens,” she said. “I like it because it lays out the truth, plain and simple. The truth is that, in the end, there are two kinds of people in this world: those that are separated from God and those that aren’t.”

This comment upset me even more. The next few nights, I had nightmares about Left Behind. It wasn’t until years later that I finally understood why the book and Gracie’s comment had caused me to be so unsettled.

In philosophy, the word dualism can refer to several concepts. In the branch of ethics alone, it has more than one meaning. In this post, dualism will refer to a certain concept popularized by early Western thinkers that defines the relationship between good and evil.

Dualism states that good and evil are different entities that oppose each other. Good and evil are complete opposites and cannot exist together in harmony. To a dualist, reality is a battlefield where good and evil “fight.” Dualism defines the relationship between good and evil as a “versus” relationship. In our reality, good versus evil is the one and only way to correctly define the relationship between those two entities.

Dualism dominates the way the Western world thinks about good and evil. We are obsessed with superhero movies, where most of the characters are either very obviously completely evil or very obviously completely good, and where these good and evil characters battle it out until the evil characters have been defeated. Western Christian literature, such as the Christian novel I read in 6th grade, paints a black-and-white picture of reality, where the world is composed of believers and non-believers and there is no overlap or gray area. The picture warns us that we better get on the right side quickly and urgently try to convince others to do the same, before God comes and completely destroys the other side.

Dualism is certainly popular, as half of the world has adopted it as truth. Upon further examination, however, it becomes clear that dualism cannot explain certain things. Dualism does not account for the fact that sometimes, evil is necessary for good to exist. For example, and old woman suddenly dying due to a terrible disease and causing much grief in her family members’ lives is a clearly evil event. However, perhaps it caused her grandchildren to acquire a kind of strength that couldn’t have been acquired if the woman had not died. Dualism also cannot explain the possibility that a person can have both good and evil within her and yet be completely at peace with herself. In short, dualism is far too simple, and the relationship between good and evil is much more complicated than the strict “versus” relationship the theory presents.
​

Dualism is not only flawed, but also dangerous if one adopts it. You begin to dehumanize certain people or groups of people; you reduce them to the adjectives “good” or “bad” instead of acknowledging their complexity. It is also tiring and stressful to view life as a constant battle against evil. If you held such a view, long-lasting peace in your life would be impossible, because the existence of evil is inevitable in our current reality. It seems clear that we must consider other ethical theories regarding good and evil’s relationship besides the one that currently plagues the Western World. Plenty of such theories exist, most of which come from the East. These theories describe the relationship between good and evil as extremely complex, and they stress that good and evil do not oppose each other. Buddha even goes as far as to say that good and evil are actually the same thing, and that the apparent distinction between them is an illusion. Regardless of whether or not this is completely true, it is clear that Buddha and other Eastern thinkers have a point, and Western society would be wise to consider their ideas. Perhaps the adoption of Eastern thought by the Western world would help stop some of our societal ailments, such as the demonization of Muslims and people of color, or the toxic mentality that my friend Gracie and so many other Christians possess.

In summary, keep Buddha’s thoughts in mind when seeing that next Marvel movie.
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tunes from goons.

10/3/2015

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PRANEEKA & MADELINE- Hey guys! So we decided to post something a little more personal this time. We previously mentioned that we became the best of friends instantly because we were interested in and valued similar things. One of those things brought us closer together: our taste in music. We both are musically inclined and appreciate different genres, so our tastes surprisingly fit so well together. Here's a little snapshot of the jams we love listening to. Enjoy, and we hope you discover someone new through these lists!


Pran:

1. Polarize by twenty one pilots

2. What So Not- High You Are (Branchez Remix) by OWSLA

3. Revolution by Diplo feat. Faustix & Imanos and Kai

4. SOBER by BIGBANG

5. Bad Girls by M.I.A.

6. Worldstar by Childish Gambino

7. She Knows by J. Cole, Amber Coffman, and Cults

8. Cry No More by Vaults

9. Fire Meet Gasoline by Sia

10. Nicotine by Panic! At The Disco

11. Under Pressure by Logic

12. Hold Me Tight by BTS

13. Come and Lie by Jhameel

14. Islands by Young the Giant

BONUS: Death of a Bachelor by Panic! At The Disco

Mad:

1. When You Look Me in the Eyes by Jonas Brothers

2. Stressed Out by twenty one pilots

3. Dead Island Trailer Theme by Giles Lamb

4. There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At The Disco

5. The Rock Show by Blink-182

6. Samael The Destroyer by Oceano

7. Separate Rooms by Now, Now

8. Want Some More by Nicki Minaj

9. Your Love is my Drug by Ke$ha

10. Where Are Ü Now by Jack Ü feat. Justin Bieber

11. In Love With the 80’s by Relient K

12. Follow the Signs by Born of Osiris

13. Nicki by Logic

14. Near Light by Olafur Arnolds

15. Bad Boy by BIGBANG


To tie this post in with our overall concept of this blog, here is our favorite brown song: Yaar by Dhibu Ninan Thomas (from Enakkul Oruvan OST). It's really pretty. Trust us.

Pran from praneekam on 8tracks Radio.

Mad from praneekam on 8tracks Radio.

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an infection.

9/24/2015

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MADELINE- I don’t know what it’s like to be oppressed because of my race. I don’t get suspicious looks at the airport. I don’t get watched closely in stores because the manager thinks I’m going to steal something. I don’t have to become nervous when I see a white policeman. I don’t know how it feels to be a victim of racism.

However, as I talked about in the first post, I do know what it’s like to be surrounded by racist mindsets. The vast majority of the people I grew up around were racist. Over the past year or so, I’ve recalled many of the racist remarks I’ve heard and thought deeply about them, and I think I realize what the number one obstacle to overcoming racist tendencies is:

No one except for the extremists outright believes that one race is superior to another. I never did, and neither did anyone around me. I would even occasionally hear a “I don’t see color” or “everyone is the same on the inside.” Yet, we would still hold terribly racist beliefs. How is this possible? We assume that if we theoretically believe that all races are equal, we are in the clear, and none of our other beliefs could possibly be racist.

And that is where the problem is. Racism is not some on and off switch, where if you stop believing that racism is correct, all racist tendencies automatically stop as well. Racism is more like an infection. An infection can spread to every part of your body, and even if you cut off the root of the issue, the place where the infection started, the rest of your body is still sickly. Similarly, racism affects so many facets of your being: the kinds of jokes you tend to make, your perception of beauty, your first judgments of people, your political beliefs, etc. You can’t simply assert that racism is wrong and expect every part of you to be well. You need to evaluate every part of yourself that might be diseased, and work to heal each one, so that you truly be healthy again. If everyone would recognize this, the struggle against racism would a lot easier.
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bonvena.

9/20/2015

1 Comment

 
“Hey, dude.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna do this?”

“Let’s do it.”



Hi, hello. This is Praneeka Raman and Madeline Hamilton, and welcome to our blog, GARAMASALAS. We thought it would be a good idea to share our thoughts with you. Since some of you may not know us, we want to introduce ourselves and share how we got to this idea in the first place. Warning: this is going to be a rather long post, so bear with us! We really hope you enjoy our journey to become more open-minded young adults.


Q: You both are going to the Texas Academy of Mathematics and Science (TAMS). What made you go there and what was your life like before you came?

A:
Madeline- Before TAMS, I went to a straight-up Jesus School in Flower Mound. It was so conservative that for a few weeks during my freshman year, the hottest topic of gossip was that my English teacher MIGHT be liberal. I hated it there. Everyone thought I was strange because I was obsessed with math, and no one really wanted to become close friends with me. The lack of higher math classes and diversity in mindset also frustrated me. When I tried to talk to my friends about deeper topics like politics, religion and philosophy, I always got the same replies, no matter who I spoke to. It was like I was talking to the same person over and over again, and it depressed me. I tried to think of ways that I could access a less monotone environment, and I remembered TAMS. My mom had told me about the program since I was small; my grandpa helped form it in the 80’s. I decided to apply with my friend Noah. The day that I got accepted was the most exciting of my life.

Praneeka- I went to Allen High School before I came to TAMS. Yes, the school that spent $60 million to build a football stadium. AHS is a very huge school; I swear I saw a new person every day when I walked in the main hallway. I did have many friends, but it was very hard for me to find a group I could stick with. I was a “go with the flow” type of person, and it was very frustrating after a while. But this wasn’t my main problem. Many people belittled me for being what they thought of as a different person. Dumb. Stupid. Weird. Unsuccessful. These are just some of the words that were associated with my name. I was so tired and depressed. Then I heard about TAMS, and it sounded like the only viable option to get out of this environment. I also wanted to get accepted just so I could prove to these people that I am, in fact, an intellectual being with well-intentioned values.


Q: Since you both came from different environments and with different goals, how was TAMS when you first came? Was it as you had expected?

A:
Madeline-
I went into the program ecstatic; I was so excited to be learning things that were at least remotely related to my subject of interest and to make friends that were similar to me. My classes were about what I expected. My social life was not. I was a white girl in a sea of East and South Asians. People insensitively joke that all Asians look the same, but this turned out to be a legitimate problem for me. During the first few weeks of school, I would approach my Indian roommate whenever I saw her, only to realize that I was not talking to my roommate at all, but another Indian person that I thought was her. Additionally, everyone around me would often talk about food, music, dances, and languages from their home country, and I was so incredibly lost. Despite this, I made friends easily. I still had a lot things in common with my peers (it’s not like Indian people talk about saris all day), so I ended up becoming friends with several of the people around me, including my wonderful roommate. I eventually settled in. During all of this, however, I slowly began to realize something. I had been drowned in horribly racist, sexist, and restricting mentalities my entire life, and I thought that I had separated myself from them. I thought I was so different from the people at my old school, and I believed I was so superior to them for recognizing the close-mindedness of their ideals. But during the first two months of school, I realized that I wasn’t different from those people at all. I thought racist thoughts about the other TAMS kids, even my own roommate, and I insulted religions other than Christianity in my head as people talked about them. As I recognized that I was no different than the people I encountered at home, I was devastated, and I desperately searched for a way to kill off the ideas that had been hammered into me as a child. Meanwhile, even though I had many close friends, I still didn’t feel like I had a best friend that I could share EVERYTHING with, including my despair about the toxic mentalities within me. I didn’t actively search for someone like this; I felt like it was a hopeless cause. But somehow, I found someone anyway. (P.S. That "someone" is Praneeka, if you hadn't figured that out already.)

Praneeka- When I got in, I was very excited to be in what I had thought of as a completely new school. I first came with desires of becoming popular and having a large, close friend group. TAMS predominantly consists of South and East Asian students, and I had discovered that the Indians all had become a big group. They had exactly what I wanted. I tried to center myself with the Indian crowd because I thought they would be more open and accepting of me. I was wrong. The people turned out to be almost exactly the same as the people from my old school, and we did not share the same interests. I was also bullied so extensively by them for being “weird” and having really dark skin that I wanted to go back home. But looking back, I am glad I had these setbacks. After all of these incidents, I quickly came to the realization that I came into TAMS with a horrible mindset. I was just very greedy of getting many friends because I didn’t have many close friends in Allen. I eventually understood that friendship is about quality, not quantity. I found an absolutely amazing group of people who were considered “off-the-grid” here; each person I friended had an element I liked, but I couldn’t really find someone with all of those likable characteristics put into one. I had a feeling that it was not likely that I would find a friend like that, but I still tried. And boy, did that work pay off. We’ll explain how all that worked out eventually!


Q: So why a blog?

A:
Madeline-
My roommate didn’t know it at first, but she slowly helped me reverse my racist tendencies. She did this partially by being so amazing, and partially by regularly telling me about her views on racism and other issues in America. I violently opposed them at first (in my head, of course), but eventually agreed with them as I became more aware of and repulsed by my own bigotry. I wanted to fight it off in myself and in others, not so I could be “one of the good white people,” but so I could actively combat the oppression that makes so many people’s lives miserable. I really wanted a platform to relay my thoughts, not only about social justice issues, but also about philosophy, math, and the little things I see every day that make me smile.

Praneeka- So Madeline’s roommate, aka my fave Indian gal pal, Ragini, helped me get into social justice-related issues, especially events that proved to be examples of white supremacy, colorism, and racism. From a young age, I was surrounded by white people, and I had always thought they were accepting of me. But I was wrong. I had become very appalled at what half of the U.S. thinks of racial minorities. I feel like people really need to understand that believing one race is better than the other is not going to help us in any way. The one thing that frustrates me the most is that most people here cause so much commotion with conceived knowledge based on stereotypes, and not many take the time to actually research the real lives of foreign Americans. I wanted to find a way of educating people about how WRONG Indian stereotypes are and how our lives in a modern society really are. So no, we are not all, as you say, “cow-praising”, marriage crazy, computer nerds. Through our friendship, we’ll try our best to show you how our experiences prove the fact that people of different races can work with each other and succeed together.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you continue hearing from us!

Much Love,
Pran & Mad


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